Gallery




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Guilt as a carer

Image
Guilt as a carer “How’s mum Lou?” Pops into my inbox several times.   Often, it’s too much to even think about.   The answer isn’t going to be good. Every time. Those who mum talks to think she sounds the same.   She doesn’t have an awareness of how the clock is ticking for her.   Likely a good thing right? Well let’s face it, dementia and heart failure is only going in one direction and I’m nothing if pragmatic.   Which means, I deal with things without my head buried in the sand. Right now, my head IS buried in the sand. So, heart failure means the heart isn’t pumping as it should. Mum has diastolic dysfunction. Which means it isn’t filling up as it should.   The blood can only back up into the lungs, creating a cough.   Initially I explained this to mum.   Yet she now says, “Ohh got   a bit of phlegm.” Or “Ohh silly tickle.” And there’s not much point keep telling her. Why? To create panic?   What’s the po...
Read more

Technical errors

Image
This is annoying but a bad sentence to start a blog about.  A blog post which is supposed to infuse positivity. Yet Siteground are the hosts who have taken down my website (I refused to pay them the hundreds of pounds they wanted to host my site for another year- so in theory, my fault) and I can't get it back without paying them more money.  Sad really as this held memories of my writing from our adventures with mum which was the whole reason I started a blog. To remember the journey from diagnosis to crossing over.  They won't give me back my writing and it's made me feel a little sad. So, in case you don't know, running a blog costs a lot of money and time.  But it's something I love and can't get enough of. Sometimes you will see some links on the blog which have affiliate links to them. This means if you click them and buy something, it helps to earn a few pennies on the blog so over time we hope this will help to finance running the blog (it doesn'...
Read more

Realising how things are.

Image
This post is sad.  But factual.  And I'm ok with it. Bringing mum away on holiday happened by accident really.  She commented on Jasmine and I going on holiday and how she would like to go too.  I bought tickets and surprised her for her birthday. Wondering if this might be a time where we can get close at last in these twilight times of her life, I was hopeful.  You see, as a child, i never was hugged or kissed or told I love you.  I have mentioned this before and I carry it like a sad trophy or something.  Yet it's a heavy burden and I wanted to get rid of it.  Let's face it, many kids have been through much worse. I wondered if this trip might see that happening. I was wrong. I don't recognise mum sometimes.  Perhaps I look at her more.  She has a habit of clenching her teeth which is new. She also frowns just a little more than she used to. Although she has always frowned. She has, in my eyes, always had a sharp tongue. ...
Read more